Friday, June 7, 2013

10 things your Dominant does not tell you

1. Everything is not "ok"

     It's possible you're both juggling careers, school, family challenges, financial concerns...should I name's also possible that your dominant is accustomed to handling it all. Which is not always a good thing. Everyone needs downtime.

 Please take time and pay attention to details. Are they more snippy than usual, are they suddenly always tired, or seem out of it?  If so the best thing to do is listen to them and give them time and understand that although they wear tight shiny clothing, they're not superhuman.

2. I am always thinking about other men/women

     Ok maybe not like 24/7, but the thoughts are there. People think/fantasize about and flirt with other people all the time.  This doesn't mean they're going to cheat on and or leave you. I actually like having multiple partners so just because I'm thinking about someone else doesn't necessarily mean I like one more than the other or treat one better than the other. And yes I'm fully capable of happily handling more than one a time.

I wonder if Chad gives good head?

3. I'd probably bottom for you

   Oh shit, did I just say that??? Yup. We'd totally do it especially if there's time invested, trust and communication involved.  Some dommy types were bottoms/subs at one point so it's not like they've never experienced it.  And it's really all fun n games so don't take it so serious. You'll never know unless you ask.

Some dominants are strongly against the whole switching business cause they think it compromises their title I think that's BS. However some of us just don't like it. Either way you won't know unless you talk about it.

4. I appreciate you doing things, without me telling you to do them.

   Go the extra mile boys. I should not have to nor do I always want to request a massage. If I'm a Sadist offer up an intense play scene. Offer to clean my car, make a four course meal. Just do something to surprise us.  For the record someone cleaning my car always makes me super happy.

5. I actually really need your help.

   There's a difference between wanting petty ritualistic tasks completed and real valuable warranted help.  We often let our pride and ego get in the way and try to accomplish everything on our own, which is silly if we have help . If you're serving someone that you care about ask if they need help. If they say no, do something to help them anyway. We are stubborn creatures.

6. I actually do get scared

   We're the toughies in the relationship right? Right.  We fear things as well, maybe we just won't tell you or handle it different. But in all honesty who would want to be with a chicken shit? So even if we're sweating bullets about something we'll never relay that to you.

7. I've run out of ideas.

     Ok last week I tied you to the bed with Twizzlers and used Popsicles as anal probes while making you whistle Sweet Home Alabama.  Now what.

       Not only do we run out of ideas, but we've got to keep up with recent fetish porn trends and replicate them so you don't get bored.  Figuring out new techniques and keeping things fresh isn't just the dominants job.  If you haven't been pegged lately and or want to try something new...say something or better yet leave the toys out for us to see. Otherwise it gets tossed into the pile of shit we'd like to do but won't get around to because of real shit in both our lives.

8. I really do want to make you happy

  We're not all selfish pricks. Though we're also not perfect. It's comparative to an boss/employee relationship. Yes we call the shots, yes we can hire another employee if we choose to and yes we can eliminate due to inefficiency. However a good boss recognizes the amount of time & effort it takes to train and hire a newbie and would much rather keep their existing employee happy and retain them. In a nutshell we'll opt to fix something that's broke rather than toss it.

9. I am sometimes doubtful

   We probably reassure you of your capabilities often and assist you in carrying mental burdens.

So who uplifts the up-lifter?  

We're not going to tell you that we need reassurance cause that'd be too much like right but we like it just as much as you do.

10. Yes we desire you sexually, but your loyalty means more. 

  We all know our relationships start and revolve around this eminent primal sexual nature to fuck uncontrollably. (At least I like to fuck uncontrollably)  However that's not what keeps people engaged and if that's all it's based on then you may want to re-evaluate some things in your relationship.

Loyalty doesn't mean you're married to one another for life in some picket fence fairytale story.

Loyalty also isn't sexual exclusivity (huge misconception)

Loyalty means being a friend first and a lover second and a bunch of other good shit that doesn't involve genitals.

Loyalty is when things aren't sexy, people are sick, and there's a rough spot in the course of our relationship that you and I simply pull through and are better from the experience.

Now that we're done going over this, go get me a glass of wine...and a sandwich oh loyal one.

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